Finding yourself before you can find Mr. Perfect-for-you

Several comments from my very support friends inspired this post. "One of the best things we can do is figure out who we are as women first; then we will be able to find the perfect men who fit us individually." Another comment read, "most women don't have their own lives together enough to actually be capable of being and staying in a healthy relationship. You need to make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy." Both are quite profound statements from people just like you: young single women.

From the Dove Real Beauty Campange



Therefore ladies, if you want to be happy in a relationship with someone else, you need to be happy with who you are first, whether it is your body image or your personality. You need to learn to embrace who you are as a woman and realize that there is a person out there for you. If you have a little extra curves... maybe in a few wrong places then what Vogue would like, there is a man out there for you. I know, easier said than done. Trust me! I am a 21 year-old who has been struggling with her body image since she knew there was such an idea.

I will tell you one thing. If you do not know who you are or what you want out of life, find it first before you want to get into a serious relationship. Too many times have I seen very close friends and family members lose themselves in relationships because they did not know who they were as a person and they just adapted to what they thought their significant other wanted. No. That is not what a relationship is about. Although, I have never been in a serious relationship, I know what they are supposed to be, what they are supposed to look like. You both need to feel comfortable with who you are and who your partner is. You need to be able to accept them and most importantly yourself for who you are. Find that, then find Mr. Perfect-for-you. After all, you he can only be Mr. Perfect-for-you if you know who you are.

 

Also, one thing you want to make sure you have is a great support system, your friends and family. Not to get all sappy or anything but having people there for you for the fun times and the sad, is priceless. While having a man in your life can be fun, you'll need people there to either pick up the pieces or hold your bouquet. When you are finding yourself, you need to find your friends. After all, your bride's maids are a part of your wedding too! I know I have truly inspiring people in my life who I know will be there to buy me crackers and Gatorade when I am feeling sick.

The Quest: New Year's Edition

Well, the minutes are counting down until it is 2011. I have to say 2010 was a ground breaking year for me. I traveld across the Atlantic and Pacific seas for the first time. Discovered a love for a travel and a love for a particular European country.

Most importantly, in 2010, I found direction. I dicovered what I want to do with my life as well as what is most important to me and how I can tie the two together. Now, it's only a matter of...suitably enough, time.

As I have been writing the New Year has chimed in. It was a very anti-climatic New Year’s celebration. I sit here alone, typing away on my computer only to get a call from my mother saying “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Wow, those few minutes went by fast! I hope next New Year I will be able to spend the night in the typical New Year’s Eve party… maybe even with a man to kiss when the clock strikes midnight. I know “all the single ladies” out there are wishing for the same thing! So, put your hands up!

Back to the "time" discussion. With time, anything is possible. As young adults, time is on our side. With time, we can attain our dream careers; attain our soul mate. We just have to be patient and know that miracles await us around the corner. Who knows, next year you could be ringing in the new year with the man who you know you were meant to be with.

The magnificient thing about the New Year season is that it is filled with hope for the future.

In 2011, I hope that we all achieve our dreams, or at least get a few steps closer, whether it is getting your dream job, finding your purpose in life, finding your soul mate, or most importantly, finding yourself.

For 2011, our quest continues!

Blog topics coming in 2011:

·         The single opinion: Why so many quality women are still single

·         Finding yourself before finding Mr. Perfect-for-you

·         Still curvy and still awesome

Readers, if you would like me to write about something in particular, message me or leave a comment.

Also, for other awesome blogs written by other awesome ladies check out:

http://transplantinmanhattan.wordpress.com/
http://savvyshopper11.blogspot.com/

"[Insert name here] are you still single?!"

Being a 21 year-old perpetually single female, I get that question a lot. I'm sure you all have had someone ask you that at least one time in your life. For me, it all started with my Aunt's husband, Mel. The Jewish doctor from Baltimore always thought it was funny to ask the toddler version of myself if I was married yet and that I needed to get a move on. Thanks, Uncle Mel. I feel that perhaps that habitual question of his may have cursed me.

When I would visit family, they would always ask "do you have a boyfriend?" My answer has been the same about 97% of the time. I'm sure some of them question whether I am straight or not, considering I am the only female of my cousins who has not gotten married and/or pregnant before their twenties.

I think my lowest point in all of my single-dom would have to have been about a year and a half ago, when I was a part of a Saturday Night Live-esque show to welcome my small liberal arts college's freshmen to school. It was entitled "Friday Morning Live," affectionately called "FML" (pun intended). The morning of the big show, the Dean of Students, Dean Slay, had a sketch where he asked questions from the audience. Well, I was one of the planted questions. Dean Slay and I joke around often and he asked me earlier that morning, if when I asked my question if he could say something to help me out with the freshman boys. He always joked about things like that. He is sort of like a dad/crazy uncle in that way. I initially thought he was just kidding, so I said "sure, why not?" Little did I know, that he was not kidding.

We were live... Friday morning and it came time for me to ask my question. I stood up in the audience, said my line and the Dean asked "Meagan? Is that you? Are you still single?" He said that in front of the entire freshman class. I was shocked. I just stood there for a few seconds until I came up with "uh-um...maybe?" I went backstage and my friends were doubled over with laughter. "Great!" I thought, "Now all the freshmen are going to know me as 'that single girl.'" I laughed it off. I mean, it was funny but I was utterly embarrassed. Dean Slay apologized. He said that it came out all wrong. Because the man is my mentor, I had to forgive him.

We still joke about it to this day. A year after "the FML incident," I was the TA for a freshmen introductory course and in my class was Dean Slay's son and his roommate. So, the first day the freshman got to campus, the roommate comes up and asks me "Hey, are you single?" I knew immediately that he had been talking to Dean Slay. It was funny and remains a joke between us.

Photo requested by my dear friend, Mary D.

Never the less, Dean Slay did not help me with getting a date that day. Still single.

We all have those times when we feel like social outcasts being single, but the truth of the matter is, more women are single than we think. Off the top of my head I can think of several handfuls. It’s actually quite mind boggling that so many wonderful women are still single. These are all smart, beautiful, and hilarious women. I ask you, the reader’s, opinion on why this is. I will discuss your opinions(they will be anonymous) as well as my own in my in my next post.

So, when people ask you "are you still single?," embrace it knowing that one day you won't have to answer "no." Until then, our quest continues.

Let me Introduce you to Mr. Perfect-for-you

Most women can attest to the trials and tribulations of the dating world. The one thing most women crave most is finding that perfect man, your soul mate, that handsome man who is beefy and macho yet sensitive. Well ladies, I am here to tell you that I don't want that. Sure, I drool over men like that. Who doesn't want to picture Ryan Reynolds cooking you dinner? But I don't think I'd want to actually date him. I'm an average female, who has average fears and average self-esteem issues. I am a girl who has a goofy sense of humor but has ambitions in life, and I need a man who can compliment my personality. Of course, I like him to bring something new to table, adventure is always good. All women need a man who compliment who they are. For instance, if you’re a bit off-the-wall, you may need a man who can calm you down and bring you back to Earth.

It's not about finding Mr. Perfect. Frankly Prince Charming didn't seem so bright. I mean, he had to identify Cinderella by using a glass slipper. It's not like she was wearing a mask the night of the ball. Sure, he may seem charming and sweep you off your feet but you have to ask yourself "is he perfect for me?" Is he all that you ever wanted and needed in a man? Is he the man who will find everything about you amazing? We all need to find that man who finds our “antics” endearing. Although having looks like Matthew McConaughey is a plus, it's really not the root of what matters. It's all about who the person is because lets face it, if it is a realtionship that lasts, neither one of you are going to sustain your looks and all you will have left is who they are on the inside.

Now the only problem is finding him, and that ladies, is where our quest begins.